Sexualities

Cameron Bustamante describes the beginnings of conversations among men about sexual violence.

There has been much talk at this conference about the need for men to love each other and be willing to speak openly about that love. That is important; we need to be able to get beyond the all-too-common male tendency to mute or deform our emotions. But it’s also crucial to remember that loving one another means challenging ourselves as well. That’s what I would like to do today, to challenge us -- in harsh language -- on men’s use of pornography. In an unjust world, those of us with privilege must be harsh on ourselves, out of love.

Pornography and prostitution are overwhelmingly not 'choices.' They are vast, exploitative, patriarchal-capitalist industries, largely violent, very lucrative, controlled by women-hating men, and destructive of the women (and children) who are victimized by them.

Breaking the barriers to desire: Polyamory, polyfidelity and non-monogamy - new approaches to multiple relationships

Edited by Kevin Lano and Claire Parry

Five Leaves Publications, 1995.

These workshop notes include useful questions for discussion, brief writeups on elements of ‘good sex’, further reading, and a handout for young people on “Tips for Good Sex”. I have also included a lengthier discussion of working with boys and young men on ‘doing consent’, as I think this is a critical issue. The materials on consent easily could be turned into a workshop on their own, for boys and young men.

Yum, says Michael Flood.

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The men's movement is a painful place for gay men, says academic Gary Dowsett. He doesn't want to hear about the problem of who does the washing up anymore, as he told Michael Flood.

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Why do we need a sexual identity? Is there a heterosexual community? How do we encourage safe sex if we don't validate straight men's sexuality? Writer and activist Gary Dowsett has some ideas. He is interviewed by Michael Flood.

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David Dendy boldly goes where few men have gone before: across the gulf between desire and politics, to seek new forms of monogamy, masturbation and sexual preference.

Stubbornly, with determination, I resisted. I knew and experienced emotional and sexual desire from an early age as complex, broad-ranging and variable. It was and is still not a simple attraction to one sex or another. It was and is not fixed to one pattern of attraction, lust or pleasure.