A sexist, violent culture exists in some sports, writes Michael Flood.
Originally published in The Sydney Morning Herald, 3 March 2004
Articles
The men who make obscene phone calls or harass women aren’t all wearing team colours, says Michael Flood.
Making boys anti-sexist will soon be on the curriculum of many school systems. "We can do even better," claims Nick Sellars.
Stephen Fisher assesses three approaches to boyswork. Please see below for the attachment, in PDF.
From boyhood comic books to soldier games to his dad's tales of combat, Tony Switzer recounts his path into the military.
Sam Pullen describes the training in privilege he received in the Boy Scouts.
These workshop notes include useful questions for discussion, brief writeups on elements of ‘good sex’, further reading, and a handout for young people on “Tips for Good Sex”. I have also included a lengthier discussion of working with boys and young men on ‘doing consent’, as I think this is a critical issue. The materials on consent easily could be turned into a workshop on their own, for boys and young men.
For increased inclusion of men into violence prevention efforts to work, we need to educate them about consent. Real consent.
We're still missing the mark when it comes to teaching consent. We have heard "No means No", and I think we're finally clueing in on "Yes means Yes" - in other words that the absence of a "No" is not in itself consent. But the problem is that we are still stuck in the old paradigm. It's still based on the idea of permission: there is this line that once crossed can't be un-crossed, and the woman is just going to have to live with the consequences of her actions (emphasis HER actions). As a culture, we still blame male arousal on women.
How do you know when your partner has consented to sex? Do you ask, or do you assume they’ve consented if they don’t say anything? Do you watch for body language? Do you try to “make them relax” if it seems like they’re not consenting? Rather than seeking consent, you may be attempting to “manufacture” it.