Here is an explanation why the "Not All Men" retort to tweets discussing male violence towards women is frustrating and exhausting for women. Please read and share.
Though technically accurate, the "not all men" retort often derails conversations about sexism. It surfaces almost EVERY TIME when women discuss harmful male behaviour patterns, bad experiences with individual men, or even simply mentioning men in the context of gender issues.
As readers are no doubt aware, the vast majority of gun violence crimes are committed by boys and men (well over 90 %), yet the vast majority of boys and men are not violent. An unpacking of this seeming paradox requires an analysis of the role of masculinity. I did that in this article: Levant, R. F. (2022). Extending the Gender Role Strain Paradigm to account for U. S. males’ gun violence. Psychology of Men & Masculinities,23(2), 151-159.
Campaigns focused on violence against women, such as the White Ribbon Campaign, often face two questions: “Why not *all* violence?” “What about violence against men?” So here is why.
Focusing a campaign on violence against women in no way means that this is the only type of violence that occurs, it is the most common form of violence, or other forms of violence are unimportant. It simply means that violence against women is an important social problem that deserves attention.
What does a feminist ethic for dating look like for heterosexual men? Here are some tentative notes. They are intended for men dating women, and focused on initial dating rather than ongoing relationships.
There are some basic principles that should guide men’s involvement in dating:
In addressing men's violence against women, there are least seven problems with a focus on telling women how to maximise their own safety:
1) Focusing only on telling women how to maximise their own safety fails to hold perpetrators accountable for their behaviour, and locates responsibility with the potential victims.
2) Women *already* use a multitude of such strategies.
The “Karen” insult is increasingly common in popular culture, and has been subject to some feminist critique.
Consent apps have been proposed by the NSW Police Commissioner Mick Fuller as a strategy for reducing sexual violence (March 17 2021). However:
Consent apps are useless, and indeed dangerous. They don’t address how: Consent can be forced or pressured. Capacity to consent can be undermined by alcohol or drugs. Gender power differentials mean women often ‘consent’ to sex they don’t want.
One popular MRA meme is titled “Feminist Quotes by Leading Feminists". It is a perfect example of the MRA misrepresentation of feminism. Either these people aren’t leaders, or the quotes are fake or from works of fiction (novels), or the quotes are taken out of context, or the piece is obscure and has no influence or currency in feminist politics and theory, or the quotes are accurate but representative of a particular strand of 1960s, 1970s and 80s radical feminism.
What does 'gender' have to do with men? How might men have a role in building gender equality? How we engage men in this work? What do people mean by 'toxic masculinity', and is it a useful phrase? What do we want instead? How do we encourage healthy masculinities among men and boys?
