Here is an explanation why the "Not All Men" retort to tweets discussing male violence towards women is frustrating and exhausting for women. Please read and share.
Though technically accurate, the "not all men" retort often derails conversations about sexism. It surfaces almost EVERY TIME when women discuss harmful male behaviour patterns, bad experiences with individual men, or even simply mentioning men in the context of gender issues.
Women understand that not all men are perpetrators. It's common sense to know we don't believe EVERY SINGLE MAN is to blame. The focus is on the men who contribute to the problem, whether through direct actions like assault or through upholding a system that enables it.
Retorting with "not all men" looks and feels to us, like a self-serving deflection. It shifts the conversation away from acknowledging the existence of sexism and a man's potential role within it.
Women face real consequences, at worst rape and death, due to sexism. Distancing yourself from the problem because one man doesn't personally engage in a specific behaviour fosters a culture of complacency. Sexism is a systemic issue, not negated by individual exceptions.
We get it and defensiveness is understandable when FEELING falsely accused. BUT conversations about sexism aren't personal attacks, they're calls for collective reflection, and requests to explore what are CRUCIAL solutions.
Discussions about harmful behaviours OFTEN focus on broader trends. It's undeniable that women face more challenges related to sexism than men do. So acknowledging this is the first step, not twisting it to make it about yourself (a man) being personally offended by wording.
I'll add that when talking about cars, we can say "cars have boots". NOT ALL CARS have boots. We don't feel the need to quantify exactly how many cars have boots. This use of language is NORMAL. In pretending you don't get what we're saying, you derail the original statement.
Many thanks. That's the last I'm saying on the "not all men" issue. The rest is not for women to explain to you. Read. Ask friends. Call out misogyny in it's smallest forms. Educate yourselves. Don't make fools of yourselves by yelling NOT ALL MEN (and so much worse!) at us.
By Vitt, @vitt2tsnoc on X/Twitter, July 14, 2024. First published at https://x.com/vitt2tsnoc/status/1812144571897319568