I recently followed the recommendation of a friend and finally got around to seeing “The Hangover” – a film about a bachelor party in Las Vegas that goes terribly wrong. Now I need to talk to that friend about how I might go about getting those 100 minutes of my life back!
Latest blog entries
I think it is probably safe to say that recently Sarah Palin has become one of the more hated women in the United States. I personally think that she is a very mean person. I believe that the smiles, the winks, and the “knowing” nods all serve to obscure the deep cruelty that is in her heart. I think that she is both hateful and hate-filled. I have no love for her. So I do not mind it at all whenever her political star fades a little bit.
(*refudiate: (verb) refute + repudiate. Coined by Sarah Palin, summer 2010.)
It’s been a tough week to be an angry right-winger in the United States of America. A Congresswoman who is a moderate Democrat was the target of an assassination attempt by a deranged man. This Congresswoman’s district had been targeted, literally, on a website sponsored by the conservative celebrity Sarah Palin. (Palin had also encouraged her followers not to “retreat” but instead to “reload.”)
There's a great deal that one can say about the gendered dynamics and implications of the horrid act of violence that a man perpetrated against U.S. Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords yesterday. But right now it seems to me more appropriate just to take a moment to breathe, to hug our loved ones, and send our thoughts and prayers to all those directly impacted by this horrible event.
I'll be back next week with more thoughts about how we can continue to work to end men's violence against women.
For the past few years there has been a lot of handwringing and chest beating about the supposed “boy crisis” in education. The argument goes something like this: “We have been paying far too much attention to girls. And that hurts boys.” (Evidence that the “boy crisis” is actually an antifeminist myth can be found here: http://www.aauw.org/learn/research/upload/whereGirlsAre.pdf).
With the New Year almost upon us, I thought it might be a good time to consider some resolutions that we straight guys can make in order to ensure a more just world for women, and in the process come closer to fully embracing our own humanity as well. (Some of these might apply to men who don’t identify as heterosexual, but being a straight guy, it’s the only population I feel competent to make these suggestions for...) So, here goes:
As straight men, I suggest that we make the following resolutions:
The other day as I rushed to catch an elevator, I caught the eye of the sole occupant of the car – a woman who was already inside waiting for the doors to close. She gave me what I have come to think of as “the elevator look.” It is a look that seems to say: “Please don’t get in this elevator with me. I don’t want to be alone in here with you.” It’s similar to a look I see from some women when I ride the bus – “the please sit somewhere else look.” It says: “Please don’t sit next to me.
Recently I heard an interview on a CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Company) radio program with one of the cast members of the travelling stage show “Puppetry of the Penis.” This is a show that involves naked men who take to the stage in order to do what they call “genital origami.” Working in the nude, they use the penis and scrotum to “perform” numerous shapes, include “the hamburger,” “the wrist watch,” “the snail,” and the “swollen thumb.” I must admit that I have not had a terribly strong desire to go see the
Experiencing violence in a relationship is a terrible thing. And sometimes the violence begins when the relationship ends – when you try to break up. As I mentioned in a previous post, I have been the recipient of more violence from women than I have ever committed toward them. But as I look back at an especially stressful time in my life, I realize that even when I was the victim of partner violence, I was still extremely lucky that my pursuer was a woman and that I was a man.
The other day I was giving a talk about some of the benefits and challenges of working with men. I asked the group what helpful qualities men might bring to a workshop or training, and about what behaviours men might bring with them that could be problematic. My intention was to discuss the notion that men are gendered beings, and how we can best work with men whose words and actions might be endorsing some of the traditional messages about what it is that makes a man.