(Special thanks to Madeline McDaniel for inviting me to see a talk by Todd Minerson, Executive Director of the White Ribbon Campaign. And to the YMCA of Fredericton and the Muriel McQueen Fergusson Foundation for bringing him to town.)
As an immigrant to Canada, let me say that I have found a lot of good things about living here. And for me one of the most exciting things about living in Canada is knowing that this country is home to the international White Ribbon Campaign. Born of unspeakable tragedy, the White Ribbon Campaign is an effort by men that works on both a national and international level to end men’s violence against women.
My God. Montreal. Every year throughout Canada, on December 6, there are breathtaking and heartbreaking memorials to the victims of the “Montreal Massacre.” On December 6, 1989, a man went into a community college in Montreal, and, specifically targeting young women, he shot 28 people before killing himself. I was living in Los Angeles at the time of this atrocity. But I well remember when regular television programming was suddenly interrupted by breaking news of this tragedy.
Stunned into silence, my friends and I watched live as police vehicles and ambulances rushed the victims to hospitals. I remember that it was snowing on that horrible day in Montreal. And we too found ourselves totally chilled by what we were witnessing, even in sunny Los Angeles.
Watching those horrid events unfold on t.v. was a lot like watching the coverage of the Columbine massacre ten years later. But in Montreal there was just one gunman. And his target was women. The shooter stated that he was “fighting feminism.” After separating the men from the women, he began to assassinate the women one by one. The suicide note he left behind blamed feminists for ruining his life. So he took his “revenge.” He murdered innocent women. And they all were innocent, whether they were feminist or not. None of them deserved to die.
One woman, in an effort to save her life, said that she was not a feminist. But it didn’t matter. He shot her anyway.
Responding to horror. So how does one respond to this horror – to this unspeakable crime against humanity, to this mass femicide? And how do we as men respond when one of our own has done something so heinous in our name? What do we do with our grief and our sorrow, with our rage, our feelings of guilt?
In 1991 a group of Canadian men responded with the White Ribbon Campaign. (Find it here: www.whiteribbon.ca.) According to the Campaign, “wearing a white ribbon is a personal pledge to never commit, condone or remain silent about violence against women and girls. Wearing a white ribbon is a way of saying, ‘Our future has no violence against women.’”
20 years later, the White Ribbon Campaign is still going strong. They coordinate an international effort to eradicate violence against women. And one of their new and extremely exciting efforts is called “It starts with you, it stays with him.” This project reaches out to men who play a role in the lives of boys – including fathers, teachers, and coaches – and it provides information about how to teach boys about healthy and equal relationships. More information about this project can be found here: www.itstartswithyou.ca.
Practicing what they preach. Talk is one thing. Action is another. And it is not just in what they say that the WRC is an impressive organization, but also in what they do. Because they understand that violence against women is deeply rooted in patriarchy and male supremacy, these men are extremely thoughtful and respectful of women as they plan the route ahead. They state on their website:
We acknowledge the expertise and central role of women in challenging violence against women. With tremendous heroism, they pioneered this work; they set up support programs for women and pushed for social awareness and legal change. It is essential for our local groups to have an ongoing dialogue with women’s groups in their community. Real progress will only be achieved in partnership with women’s organizations.
These men have decided to help solve the problem of violence against women. But they understand that the route ahead is side-by-side in partnership with women. It is a real mistake to think that we can somehow achieve the ultimate goal of gender equality throughout the world if we do not in fact immediately embrace it ourselves in all of our practices and principles. These guys get that.
Putting their money where their mouth is. And the WRC’s stance isn’t just talk. They back it up with action. Every year, the Muriel McQueen Fergusson Foundation (www.mmff.ca), a charitable trust that funds research into family violence and works to promote effective public education programs about the issue, sponsors an award “to recognize outstanding contributions toward preventing and eliminating family violence in Canada.” And this year the award went to the White Ribbon Campaign.
The award carries with it a sum of money, money that the WRC no doubt sorely needs. (Ending violence against women on a global scale is a terribly underfunded endeavor – to the degree it is funded at all. And this issue is rather low on any government’s radar – if we can even find it there.)
But what did the White Ribbon Campaign do? They immediately pledged to split the award money with the local Fredericton Sexual Assault Crisis Centre – itself an amazing organization that can be found here: www.fsacc.ca.
No one forced the men of the White Ribbon Campaign do this. So why did they do it? Because they know that in the struggle to end violence against women, men’s efforts are not any more important than women’s. And they know that sexual assault service providers are also chronically underfunded. And they know that the way forward in this struggle is hand-in-hand, side-by-side, leaving no one behind.
In a day and age when it seems like greed, self-interest, and power plays work together to undermine any kind of ethical collaboration, it is hugely refreshing to see such an act of generosity, of morality, of justice. I truly admire the men of the White Ribbon Campaign – not just for what they are working toward, but also for how they are going about it.
The ribbons that these winners choose to wear are white.