For generations, men have been told that toughness is strength and caring is weakness. Yet a quiet shift is underway. Across worksites, locker rooms, and living rooms, more men are discovering that empathy and kindness are not signs of softness but marks of real courage. Being strong and being kind can, and must, live side by side.
Cool to Care
When I first met Mick, he looked every bit the tough bloke. Built like a shed, boots scuffed from years on site, and a handshake firm enough to leave an impression. But behind that armour, he was one of the kindest men I’ve ever known.
At work, when someone cut their hand, Mick was the first to fetch the bandage. If a mate was going through a divorce, he’d quietly drop by with a six-pack and a listening ear. He’d never call it compassion; he just said, “You look like you need a chat.”
Once, during a heatwave, a stray dog wandered into the worksite. Everyone laughed, but Mick stopped what he was doing, filled a bucket with water, and built a bit of shade with an old tarp. “He’s just thirsty,” he said. That day, I realised there’s a quiet kind of courage in caring.
Some men spend their lives proving they’re hard enough to belong. Mick showed that being kind is hard; it takes guts to go against the old rules, to be gentle when the world expects grit.
The funny thing is that people respected him more for it. The younger blokes started following his lead, swapping mockery for mateship. That small shift changed the whole tone of the site.
Being cool to care isn’t about being soft. It’s about strength that includes kindness, humour, and heart. Mick still laughs about his “tough guy” days, but now he says, “Real men give a damn.”
Kindness is my power game.
He used to walk with shoulders wide,
A frown to match his “tough guy” stride.
But deep inside, he liked to care,
To mend, to help, to just be there.
He stitched his mate’s torn rugby shirt,
Then cleaned a graze without the hurt.
He sat through nights of heartbreak blues,
And loaned his best socks, even his shoes.
Now he says with zero shame,
“Kindness is my power game.”
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