Several years ago I was in the National Rugby League (NRL) Hall of Fame in Australia where I was giving a talk to players, owners, managers, and staff. I posed the question: why should men in the NRL work to end violence against women? After all, I knew this was a key issue in male allyship, along with many other important workplace and social issues of women’s rights.
I was expecting one of those “business case” answers. You know, the league looks bad when a player is charged with sexual assault or hitting his girlfriend. Or maybe they wanted to attract more women fans. You know, bottom line sort of arguments.
But here’s what happened.
A man at the back stood up. He wasn’t any taller than I am, but I wasn’t sure his shoulders could squeeze through a normal door. He was, obviously, a player. So I posed the question directly to him. In a gentle voice, he answered, “Because it’s the right thing to do” and without fanfare sat down.
For the past four decades, I’ve been talking, writing, and organizing for male allyship in support of women’s rights, lives free of violence, equal sharing of childcare and domestic work, and building workplaces and educational institutions that are diverse, inclusive and free of discrimination, harassment, and barriers to women.
And so it gives me great pleasure that almost every day I meet men like that rugby player or hear about another male allyship initiative in a UN agency, a government department, a corporation or professional firm, an NGO, a trade union, or a school.
However, I’m increasingly worried that male allyship might become another buzzword, a badge of honor with little content, a chest-thumping proclamation, or a well-meaning intention without the skill set or actions to back it up.
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From Michael Kaufman, ed., The Male Ally Handbook: Building Better Workplaces for Equality and Change. Toronto: Shopkeeper Press, 2024 in cooperation with Equimundo: Center for Masculinities and Social Justice, Catalyse, Next Gen Men, and Beyond Equality. © Michael Kaufman 2024
You can buy The Male Ally Handbook from Amazon here.
Reprinted with permission.