Sometimes, when I talk or write about violence against women, I get accused of not caring about the violence that occurs against men. I get accused of being unfair. So, while this blog is generally about violence against women and children, let me take a moment to address the issue of violence against men, and to say unequivocally that violence against men is wrong.
I would also like to take the opportunity to post “Bill’s Bill of Rights for Men’s Sexual Safety.”
As a man, let me assert the following:
If I have had too much to drink, that does not give you the right to rape me.
If I have dressed in a sexy manner, that does not give you the right to rape me.
If I am walking down a street in a “bad” area of town, that does not give you the right to rape me.
If I am travelling in remote areas by myself, that does not give you the right to rape me.
If I am hiking in the woods by myself, that does not give you the right to rape me.
If I am walking down a dark street in the middle of the night, that does not give you the right to rape me.
If I have invited you in, that does not give you the right to rape me.
If you invited me in, that does not give you the right to rape me.
If I am dating you despite having been warned about you, that does not give you the right to rape me.
If I am dancing sexily, that does not give you the right to rape me.
If I am flirting with you, that does not give you the right to rape me.
If I am being a “tease,” that does not give you the right to rape me.
If we are doing something that arouses you, that does not give you the right to rape me.
If we are fooling around without any clothes on, that does not give you the right to rape me.
If we have had sex before, that does not give you the right to rape me.
If I let you buy me drinks, that does not give you the right to rape me.
If I let you buy me dinner, that does not give you the right to rape me.
If I am on drugs, that does not give you the right to rape me.
If you have drugged me, that does not give you the right to rape me.
If I have a reputation for sleeping around, that does not give you the right to rape me.
If we are married, that does not give you the right to rape me.
If you have raped me before, that does not give you the right to rape me.
If I sell access to my body for money, that does not give you the right to rape me.
If I am incarcerated, that does not give you the right to rape me.
If you are angry at me, that does not give you the right to rape me.
If you are angry at all people of my gender, that does not give you the right to rape me.
If I do not verbally say “no,” that does not give you the right to rape me.
Well, that all seems pretty clear. “Men should not get raped.” Makes perfect sense, doesn’t it? And, since today’s blog post is all about fairness, let’s make sure that when it comes to women, these same rules still apply.