In the field of violence prevention work with men and boys, there is growing interest in engaging men as fathers. Fatherhood is identified as a key entry point that can be strategically leveraged to support male engagement, both during men’s transition to parenthood and throughout their involvements as parents and caregivers.
Four streams of work have converged to shape interest in engaging men as fathers in the prevention of domestic and sexual violence:
- A growing emphasis on primary prevention in the domestic and sexual violence fields
- Increasing attention to policies and programs intended to increase father involvement
- The development of an ‘engaging men’ field
- And growing dialogue between work with male perpetrators and work with fathers
The wider context includes shifts in fathering: shifts both in images of fathering and in fathers’ own expectations, although fathers’ actual behaviours have shifted less.
Domestic violence, mothers, and fathers
In the domestic violence field, there has been growing attention to children’s exposure to DV and its detrimental impacts. It is troubling to note that child protection efforts have focused particularly on mothers, expecting women to protect their children from harm caused by the other parent, and punishing mothers for exposing children to fathers’ DV while neglecting the fact that they themselves tend to be the primary victim.
However, fathers’ perpetration of violence, and their accountability for child exposure to DV, have slowly been moving onto domestic violence and child protection agendas.
Perpetrators as fathers
We have heard from other presenters today about the harms of father absence. But we also acknowledge that present fathers can cause harm, and that fathers may be absent because of the harm they have caused. We must acknowledge that some boys do have ‘male role models’ in their families, terrible ones, who have modelled violence and abuse.
Perpetrators as fathers are becoming more visible. We know that when fathers commit DV against mothers, they:
- Disrupt the mother-child relationship
- Affect children’s well-being and development
- Damage their own relationships with their children.
Fathers who use intimate partner violence often use harsh, poor and damaging parenting style. Fathers who use DV against their partners also are likely to use violence against their children.
Also, if violent men are fathers, they may have ongoing contact with dependent children, and this may give them opportunities to perpetrate further violence against their ex-partners or their children.
Holding male perpetrators accountable in their role as fathers
When fathers’ behaviour threatens children’s wellbeing or welfare, we must hold fathers accountable: “it cannot be the mother’s responsibility to protect her children from the harm associated with their exposure to their father’s behaviour, especially where this behaviour affects both mothers and children” (Meyer, 2018, p. 331).
In short, we have to hold violent fathers responsible for changing their behaviour. And that means that child safety interventions must do much more engaging of fathers.
The father-child relationship should only be supported and contact should only be facilitated if this is safe for both mothers and children.
More broadly, we need “a shift from mother blame to father engagement and accountability” (Meyer, 2018, p. 333).
I move back now to fathers in general, and the place of fathers in violence prevention
Fathers and violence prevention
There are at least five reasons why engaging fathers is a critical part of violence prevention.
Fathers’ positive involvement in parenting and care work is good for children and families. Fathers’ positive involvement also is good for mothers’ relationship satisfaction, their parenting, and men’s own wellbeing.
This does not mean that father presence is a necessary condition for children’s wellbeing. Children raised in a variety of households and family structures can do well.
When men are involved in parenting and domestic work, they are also less likely to use violence against women. There is likely to be a two-way relationship between positive parenting and non-violence, and both may be shared by other factors, such as having gender-equitable attitudes.
Unhealthy and negative fathering has negative impacts. Violent or neglectful fathers can cause long-term harm to their children and families.
Fathers can influence the gendered causes of violence against women
Domestic and sexual violence are driven above all by gender-unequal norms, practices, and relations, and men who engage positively as fathers are well placed to shift these in their families. Fathers can encourage strong norms of non-violence and respect, model shared decision-making, and challenge rigid gender roles and gender stereotypes.
There are also more pragmatic reasons to engage men as fathers in anti-violence advocacy. Most men are fathers, fathering is an important life experience for many men, and fathering therefore provides opportunities to involve men and boys in learning, reflection, and action. Becoming a father is an opportunity for men to reevaluate their views of gender roles and engage positively with mothers and children.
Fathering provides important opportunities to engage men using violence
Among men using domestic violence, their fathering roles can be an important motivator of efforts at change. In an Australian study by Silke Meyer, fathers’ desire to have a relationship with their children was a more powerful motivator of engagement in interventions than concerns related to their intimate partners or ex-partners.
Safe father-inclusive practice
So what does effective father-inclusive practice in work with men who have used domestic and family violence look like? It begins with an unwavering commitment to the safety and wellbeing of women and children. It recognises that men’s roles as fathers can be both a risk and a potential lever for change.
Safe father-inclusive practice names violence clearly, prioritises the non-offending parent’s knowledge and sense of risk, and keeps risk assessment, safety planning, and behaviour change at the centre of practice.
- It does not treat father involvement as inherently positive; rather, it asks whether the father’s behaviour is safe, predictable, and non-coercive.
- It holds men responsible for the impact of their violence on women, children, and family functioning.
- It works in partnership with women and children.
The Safe and Together model is a strong example of this approach. The model helps child welfare systems to become better partners to adult survivors and their children, and to intervene more effectively with perpetrators.
The Safe and Together model “pivots to the perpetrator” by assessing the father’s patterns of coercive control, parenting practices, and the direct ways his behaviour harms children and the protective parent. At the same time, it gives full credit to the non-violent mother’s protective work and keeps outcomes for women and children at the centre of practice.
In this sense, Safe and Together supports father-inclusive work without drifting into a contact-or co-parenting-at-all-costs model. Its value lies in combining engagement with men, clear accountability, and a strong safety framework for women and children. Practitioners can use trauma-informed, gender-transformative approaches with fathers that challenge entitlement, foster empathy, and support behavioural change.
Conclusion
We need much more intensive efforts to involve fathers in violence prevention, as part of a comprehensive strategy for engaging men in prevention. We need to encourage fair divisions of caring and household work, shift traditional norms of care work and manhood, and foster a culture of positive fathering.
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Citation
Flood, M. (2026). Safe Father-inclusive Practice. The Fathering Summit: The future of fathering, Sydney, April 23.
Resources
- Engaging Fathers in Building a Non-violent Future (Report, Fathering Project, 2024)
- What fathers can do, as fathers, to prevent domestic and sexual violence
Further reading
- Alemann, C., Mehaffey, R., & Doyle, K. (2023). Core Elements Of Gender-Transformative Fatherhood Programs To Promote Care Equality And Prevent Violence: Results From a Comparative Study of Program P Adaptations in Diverse Settings Around the World. Washington, DC: Equimundo.
- Wynter, K., Francis, L. M., Borgkvist, A., Dixson, B., D’Souza, L., Duursma, E., May, C., Sher, L., & George, J. S. (2025). Effectiveness of Father-Focused Interventions to Prevent or Reduce Intimate Partner Violence During Pregnancy and Early Parenthood: A Systematic Review. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 26(1), 167-182. https://doi.org/10.1177/15248380241277270
- David Mandel’s book, Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to Transform the Way We Keep Children Safe from Domestic Violence. https://safeandtogetherinstitute.com/stop-blaming-mothers-and-ignoring-fathers-book